A few years ago, I started growing plants. What began as a weekend experiment in a small corner of my home quickly turned into a calming ritual. Soon, I had a personal green haven with over 20 different plants.

Each plant had its own unique personality and specific needs. Some thrived in direct sunlight, while others drooped. Some needed daily watering, while others preferred to be left alone for days. I learned this the hard way—through trial and error. Many plants withered and died under my well-intentioned but misguided ‘one-size-fits-all’ care. This experience of transformation, from a rigid approach to a responsive one, was a powerful lesson. I had to change my approach. I began reading more about each plant and had conversations with my mother, who has decades of gardening experience. This was a continuous learning process, and I continue to learn and try new things to this day. 

This challenging but essential lesson in patience and attunement resonated deeply with my work. In that quiet corner of my home, I was always grateful because nature knows its secrets. It taught me that leadership is a learning journey.

As a coach and a talent development professional, I’ve seen this situation play out countless times on commercial teams. I’ve watched leaders struggle to get the best out of their teams by applying a blanket approach. Consider a Key Account Manager (KAM) who excels in high-stakes negotiations and public recognition for securing significant deals. A traditional, uniform approach might give them more of what they want. But what about the technical solutions specialist who does their best work when given focused, uninterrupted time to solve complex client problems? If we push them into the same fast-paced, high-visibility challenges as the KAM, they’ll likely feel overwhelmed, withdraw, and we’ll lose their valuable, meticulous contributions.

This isn’t about different personalities; it’s about different needs for growth. Some team members need clear structure and regular feedback to feel secure and perform at their best. Others, however, cannot work under a micromanagement style, and for them, autonomy and space to experiment are essential. For some leaders, treating everyone the same may seem fair, but it’s not effective. Fairness isn’t about sameness—it’s about attunement.

In today’s world of work, leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about inspiring others to find their solutions. It’s about cultivating environments where people can grow on their terms. This is the heart of what I call New-Age Leadership:

• From Directive to Non-Directive: Instead of simply telling a team member what to do, ask, “What support do you need to get this done?”
• From Critic to Feedback: Don’t just point out what was done wrong; provide constructive feedback that helps the team move forward.
• From Rigid to Responsive: Listen to and adapt your communication style to meet the unique needs of each individual, rather than forcing them to adapt to you.

Because what helps one person grow might overwhelm another. The magic is in the quiet skills: observing beyond the surface, listening with curiosity, and adjusting without ego. These skills are not only beneficial but also crucial for effective leadership. They allow you to understand your team members’ unique needs and support their growth.

As senior leaders, we can ask ourselves these three questions to cultivate a truly high-performing team:

• How can I co-create a growth path with them that aligns with their aspirations and the team’s goals?

• What does this individual need from me right now to feel supported and empowered?

• What are their unique strengths, and how can I create an opportunity for them to shine?

Let’s lead like gardeners—with patience, presence, and wisdom. Because growth, whether in plants or people, is a profoundly personal journey.